A Family Addicted - Chapter 1 – Love in a small town
In a small Farming community in South Jersey is where my story begins. Irvin was born in 1926. His mom, Angela was of Spanish descent; his dad was an Argentinean by way of Italy. Spanish was the language for the house. He had an older sister named Elsie and a younger brother named Ed. Why would I mention these folks, you may wonder? Well, it is a theory of mine that those relatives you have may be an indication of who you are or what you'll be. Ed was a prodigy violinist, pianist and genius at the age of 5. He was the pride of the family. The family was encouraged to play music, Ed as the star was joined by Irvin on cello and Elsie on piano. Irvin was a bright kid who loved basketball and laughed a lot. Elsie was the mother hen, watching over the boys.
Rene was born in the same year, same town. Her family lived on the outskirts of town, farming mostly, but they also worked in factories and made ends meet. Rene had 2 sisters (Margaret and Joan) and a brother, named Stevie. Rene had a childhood under some pretty strict rules. As a Seventh Day Adventist, she was confined to a life of structure and rules, her dad, Was almost crazy with the rules. The strap and kneeling for long periods were routine punishment. At times Rene would spend hours in dark closets being punished for something she said or did. She screamed for help. As a kid, growing up in this house was painful. She suffered through years of isolation as her family obeyed the scripture as they knew it. She grew up as a beautiful teen, with her friends noting her model looks, but rarely participated in any activities outside her circle of friends. Her brother Stevie rebelled. He was always in trouble and routinely was punished.
As Irvin grew up he became best friends with his brother, Ed. They loved music, jazz, Latin, blues, it didn't matter. They spent hours hanging out and listening, playing and laughing, one of their favorite past times. Irvin was a vibrant youth who had a lanky frame and joined his catholic school's basketball team. If it wasn’t music, it was basketball.
What makes the story interesting is that both Irvin and Rene attended a dance at the local catholic school. At the dance the 2 saw each other and recalled their friendship of years in the school yard. They became close friends over the years which began in 2nd grade. At the dance, they looked into each others eyes and realized that their friendship was much more than that, it was a bond that would lead to marriage.
For me, the entire story can be summed up by a few black and white photos.
Fast forward to the 1940's... Imagine a romantic picture of a beautiful model like woman, and a handsome teen... They spent hours together listening to music, dancing and acting as if the world was theirs... Their love blossomed, the kind of love that was eternal, it was obvious.
When I think of these days, I hear big band music playing and a fancy free life. The war certainly put a damper on things. Many lives changed, some for the better and some for the worse. Many died and families suffered. Fortunately my story doesn’t go there. If it did, I would not be sitting here recalling the history of this romance. Life did change. Great times and times of challenge. Like most young men in the 40's, life changed as Irvin was asked to defend his country, as he did without question.
These times of isolation, loneliness and stress were no doubt the cause of a life of alcohol dependence. Trying to shut down your loneliness or cope with the stress of normal life is what I think triggered Rene’s decisions to turn to alcohol. Rene, my mom and Irv, my dad had a wonderful start at life, but the alcohol problems would be the dark cloud that would follow them for an entire lifetime.
Life without Irvin (To be continued…)
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